Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A New Year, A new Jack

Hey all, and happy new year. We have been so busy lately and haven't had much time to focus on the blog much. So much has happened in the past few months...

We have a "tentative" date for Jack's last of the 3 Stages of Surgeries. March 27Th Jack will have the Fontan surgery. It really is so close and I think I am in partial denial that the time has finally come. I feel weird saying this because I am not the one having surgery. But for some reason, this last surgery, although it has not happened yet, is really hitting me hard. Its not that I loved Jack any less for his prior surgeries or catherizations, I just have this true and special bond with him now. I think it is making this time much harder for me. I think having so much time away from the hospital this past year has made it feel like he is an ok healthy kid. Although I know that is really not so true. I can't believe we are this far already as it feels like just yesterday I was hearing Jacks diagnosis of having half a heart. It is really strange how time can just pass you by.

Another big thing coming up for Jack in March, HE IS GOING TO BE 2!!! Talk about time passing. He is such a little boy now. Sometimes I catch myself looking over at him in awwww for how much he has grown. We will be doing a small family party in the beginning of March so that we can get him bubble bound to stay healthy before his surgery. For those that really thought I put him in a bubble (I'm not that crazy!!) I do not. I just keep him away from school aged children and people who are sick or have been around sick people. It kind of keeps my mind at ease and so that he is healthy for the big day. It does stink because Jack and I do get bored staying around the house for that long. You gotta do what you gotta do- and make the best of it!!

So going into the new year of 2012... ok we are already past a month. I'm a little late with this I know. This year I have many expectations and resolutions that I have set for myself. I will not list my 16 new years resolutions, yes I have 16!!! But I have definitely gotten a good start on most of them. However, I will tell you one that I am truly excited about. I have signed up to walk the NSTAR children's walk on June 10th of this year. I am doing it for a few different reasons. First and main reason is to celebrate Jacks final surgery and how far he has come. Walking in his honor is the least I can do for him. Another reason is for Children's Hospital. They have given us the best gift I will ever in my life receive, the gift of our son. When we had first found out about Jack's surgery, it was really hard to have hope. It was hard to think good was going to come out of any of this. We didn't want a baby shower and we had a hard time celebrating our pregnancy. And now, we celebrate everyday with the beautiful gift of life we have. Children's has and will always hold a very special place in my heart. The people that work there are just absolutely wonderful in what they do. I am very excited for this walk. We already have a great team and we have already raised a good amount of money for this cause. If you would like to donate, please go to NSTar children's walk boston and look for team: My Heart Belongs To Jack. Or if you would like to join us in this walk, please do! The more the merrier!

I am looking forward to good things in 2012. The past year has been rough on us as a family. I'm starting to despise the saying that we are only given things that we can handle. I think I am at my personal limit really. We unfortunately lost our baby to be at 3 months. It was a very sad time for us and I keep telling myself there has to be a reason for it. Maybe it was timing, maybe the baby wasn't healthy or maybe my body wasn't ready to add the extra stress. Justin and I have decided to wait a little while to try again. We are going to take the time we have now to focus on Jack and get through this final surgery stage. We will be able to get to do more things with Jack and enjoy the beach and all the fun summer activities. Then maybe at the end of the summer we will try again.

We leave for our family vacation this Sunday and we couldn't be more excited. We are going up to Bretton Woods for a few days. Justin will ski and I will sled with Jack. Not a ski person. Not really a snow person but its a trip away so I will take it. Next one will have to be some warm weather fun! Jack is going to have a blast and we could all use a time out from our daily routine! I have all my snow gear to keep me warm!

Well a belated happy new year to everyone! Hope this year brings great things for all!!